In earlier episodes SAOSOCOA has consulted a helpful zombie who has taught her many astonishing things about facts, evidence and reasoning. She has reported all this to POTUS, the 45th President of the United States. And now:
SAOSCOA came to my garret mid- morning the day after she had consulted the zombie.
I was not entirely surprised by the breaking news she reported, because I had already read POTUS’ early morning tweet:
RICH COLLEGES ARE AWASH IN CASH – HUGE TUITION BUT STUDENTS LEARN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I KNOW FIRST HAND. SCANDALOUS!
I asked my friend the Senior Administration Official Speaking on Condition of Anonymity “How did it go? Did POTUS like what you told him about evidence and facts and all that stuff? Did he believe it?”
“Believe it? “she cried, “He is so convinced that he is suing,.”
“The Wharton School, of course, his alma mater, and. in addition, the entire University of Pennsylvania. He says what they have done is scandalous and he is demanding his money back plus punitive damages.”
“Sounds like the students at Trump University. What’s his case?”
“That he graduated from there with a bachelor’s degree but had no clue about facts, evidence, logic or any of the other stuff I learned last night in Rock Creek Cemetery. POTUS complained that I had learned all that in a few hours while he had never heard of such things all the time he was at Penn. ‘I jumped through all the hoops to get my degree. I was first in my class, you know. But I didn’t learn a thing. Nothing, even though I put up with the whole stupid curriculum at Wharton. I was the best student they ever had, but did they teach me anything useful? No way!’ ”
“So he’s suing? For how much?”
“$10.billion and change, their entire endowment..”
“Peanuts, Chump change by his standards, I guess..”
“True but he says he is setting an example for graduates all over the country. If they didn’t learn about facts and evidence and reasoning, they should sue."
“That could really shake things up.,”
“Exactly. Steve Bannon is delighted. He didn’t learn anything at Virginia Tech and Georgetown and Harvard Business, so he’s suing all three of them. Drive them to bankruptcy! Close them down, And a lot of others, too.”
“Real disruptive change .. .”
“... will make America Great Again!. Would you like to join in? We’re filing class action suits against all the big name business programs. Just sign right here..”
“Sorry,” I answered.” I can’t. You see, I majored in Necromancy.”
“Smart choice,” said SAOSOCOA.
“Yup,” I answered.. “Best return on investment.”
Off she went to file the papers with a so-called judge in a so-called court house. .
“Good luck,” I shouted. “I’m with you,, big league!”