In earlier episodes SAOSOCOA has consulted a helpful zombie who has taught her many astonishing things about facts, evidence and reasoning. She has reported all this to POTUS, the 45th President of the United States. And now:  
SAOSCOA came to my garret mid- morning the day after she had consulted the zombie.   

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I was not entirely surprised by the breaking news she reported, because I had already read POTUS’ early morning tweet:
 
RICH COLLEGES ARE AWASH IN CASH – HUGE TUITION BUT STUDENTS LEARN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I KNOW FIRST HAND. SCANDALOUS!
 
I asked my friend the Senior Administration Official Speaking on Condition of Anonymity “How did it go? Did POTUS like what you told him about evidence and facts and all that stuff?  Did he believe it?”
“Believe it? “she cried, “He is so convinced that he is suing,.”
“Suing who?”
“The Wharton School, of course, his alma mater, and. in addition, the entire University of Pennsylvania. He says what they have done is scandalous and he is demanding his money back plus punitive damages.”
“Sounds like the students at Trump University. What’s his case?”
“That he graduated from there with a bachelor’s degree but had no clue about facts, evidence, logic or any of the other stuff I learned last night in Rock Creek Cemetery. POTUS complained that I had learned all that in a few hours while he had never heard of such things all the time he was at Penn. ‘I jumped through all the hoops to get my degree. I was first in my class, you know. But I didn’t learn a thing. Nothing, even though I put up with the whole stupid curriculum at Wharton.  I was  the best student they ever had, but did they teach me anything useful? No way!’ ”
“So he’s suing?  For how much?”
“$10.billion and change,  their entire endowment..”
“Peanuts, Chump change by his standards, I guess..”
“True but he says he is setting an example for graduates all over the country. If they didn’t learn about facts and evidence and reasoning, they should sue."
“That could really shake things up.,”
“Exactly. Steve Bannon is delighted. He didn’t learn anything at Virginia Tech and Georgetown and Harvard Business, so he’s suing all three of them. Drive them to bankruptcy! Close them down, And a lot of others, too.”
“Real disruptive change .. .”
“... will make America Great Again!. Would you like to join in? We’re filing class action suits against all the big name business programs. Just sign right here..”
“Sorry,” I answered.” I can’t. You see, I majored in Necromancy.”
“Smart choice,” said SAOSOCOA.
“Yup,” I answered.. “Best return on investment.”
Off she went to file the papers with a so-called judge in a so-called court house. .  
“Good luck,” I shouted. “I’m with you,, big league!”
The End 

As devotees of this blog know. A Trump surrogate has been consulting the powers of the nether world to figure out what ‘evidence’ means.  Here’s the amazing discovery she made:


I was just finishing up the Chateau La Fitte 1959 when SAOSOCOA (the Senior Administration Official Speaking on Condition of Anonymity) came  barging into my garret,  all out of breath. She didn't even knock she was so excited.
“You won’t believe the things I learned from that zombie,” she gasped..“There is not only evidence;, there are facts!  Did you know that? Did you ever hear about  facts – I mean real facts, not alt-facts from the alt-right? They are - hard little bits of knowledge.  Did you ever know there is such a thing as knowledge? Wait till POTUS hears that!  He will be amazed.”
“I am sure you are right,” I said.
 “Did you know that facts are not the same as opinions? And there are ways of using facts to decide which ideas are right and which ones just fantasies!  Did you ever hear that from the liberal media? No! All they care about is spreading fake news. “
 
“Exactly,” I interrupted. “Be sure to tell Steve Bannon about facts,. He might find it an eye opener.”
“Absolutely. Wait till he hears that that theories need evidence to back them up. This stuff is dynamite.”
“I thought you’d have a blast..“
“You just can’t imagine how much I learned in just a few hours talking in that cemetery.  I am so grateful to you for putting me in touch with that zombie. She is so, so knowledgeable! “
“Think nothing of it, “ I assured her.. “I majored in necromancy. It’s easy for me.”
“She taught me., like, so much,.”
“But did she explain to you the difference between paranoid fantasies and reality?”
 
“She mentioned that but said that would take more time.   Do you suppose if I came back.  you could call her up again? There must be lots of stuff still to learn..”
 
“Sure, but this time  bring a bottle of  Cheval Blanc 1947. Zombies love it.” (And so do I, but I didn’t tell her that.”
 
 
Will do! This could change everything.”.
“True,, but you will have to convince POTUS.He may not believe you. ”
 
“Leave that to me,” SAOSOCOA said, and off she went with the exciting news.
 
“Let me know how it goes.,” I shouted after her . “I’m dying to know.”

In a few days the surprise ending to this series. How the POTUS reacts! 

 

Once   SAOSOCOA is through consulting the zombie [See last blog post], be sure to solve the  healthcare problem for her and POTUS. Since a third of American voters hate Obamacare but think the Affordable Care Act is just fine, Repeal Obamacare and Replace with the Affordable Care Act. 

 Fashionable down under: Harris Tweed  corseted jacket with hood.  Very good for necromancy.  Now at a store near you! 
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Back in February I used my degree in Necromancy to help explain the 2016 election. Trump loved it and sent SAOSOCOA (Senior Administration Official Speaking on Condition of Anonymity) for help in figuring out what ‘evidence’ means. This is a follow up on the report of that conversation in a blog posting a few days ago.

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SAOSOCOA, our Senior Administration Official Speaking on Condition of Anonymity, arrived at the cemetery on time, but in a foul mood.
“That bottle of Chateau La Fitte  set me back almost 4.000 bucks.   Overrated just like Meryl Streep.  French stuff. Overpriced. You can get good American wine from Idaho – a red state -for ten bucks. This séance, - or whatever it is.=  better be worth it.”
“Don’t worry; you’ll get your money’s worth,”I assured her.
So we entered the cemetery, found a good spot, dug a little hole with a trowel I had  brought, I told SAOSOCOA to pour in the quart of milk, mix in a little honey, and then  “just a soupcon” of the Chateau La Fitte..
“Whoa! Not too much!” I  whispered.
“What should I do with the rest of the wine?” she asked.
 
“Leave the bottle  in the cooler .. I’ll take care of it..”
Sure enough with a few incantations I had learned in college the maître d’, arose from the pit and asked what we wanted to order., “An old style empiricist,” I answered.
“How about a post-modernist epistemologist? They are dying off  and no one knows whatr to do with them.”
 
“No way!” I shouted. (You have to be emphatic, just like The Art of the Deal tells you. Especially with spooks.) “Get me a positivist, someone who knows about facts  and can explain  evidence.. I want an old school type,, you know, someone who wears Harris tweeds. ”
He did as he was told, but he surprised me. Out of my wits. The empiricist who arrived a few minutes later was not an old guy with a pipe as I had expected but a young woman in a stylish Harris tweed corseted jacket with hood. Very fashionable down under, I gather.
I explained to her that  POTUS, our 45th president badly needed an understanding of evidence. Then I  , grabbed the cooler with the wine and headed back to my garret  to enjoy a sip or two of the  Chateau La Fitte. –

OMG! He liked it!  PROTUS,  the President of the United States, the big guy, up there  in Trump tower, thought  my  blog posting of  February 8th - the one  explaining the 2016 election  was “definitive proof the election was rigged, big tome. .” He sent it out on his twitter feed to millions of people world-wide, the largest audience for a zombie in the history of the American presidency.
 
He liked it so much that he sent over to my garret  SAOSOCOA   (Senior Administration Official Speaking on Condition of Anonymity) to say thanks- and to ask a favor.
“We are, frankly, flummoxed by all these demands for ‘evidence.’  They wanted it for immigration policy; now they want it for Obama’s wiretapping scandal.. What the hell is evidence?  We know what has to be done and who should be doi9ng it.  What is this ‘evidence,’ stuff??” asked SAOSOCOA,
“No idea,” I replied. “Never had anything to do wit it myself. I majored in Necromancy, not Philosophy..”
“But you have a network of  people who do know.- like that smart zombie in your blog post. Ask him to come up and explain it all to me.”
That gave me a really good  idea., so I told him, “Look, it’s not as easy as that.  It’s not like calling an Uber car.  But if you really want to find out about evidence, meet me ta the main entrance to the Rock Creek Cemetery, a little before midnight tonight, and I will call someobe  for you...”
“Than you, thank you.PROTUSe will be very grateful. He never forgets a friend. “
“Fine,” I responded, “but be sure to bring a picnic cooler with a quart of 2% milk  - organic of course.  And some honey, ”
 
“Will do,”
“And a bottle of Chateau La Fitte 1959..”
“That might be hard to find. “
“Look,” I said, “these guys under ground in the cemetery are fussy. Only the best is good enough.  Do you want them to help or don’t you?”
He folded, just like The Art of the Deal  said he would. We had a deal! We were on for midnight.
To be continued!  
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